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Last Moment Gift

One Christmas Eve, a frenzied young man ran into a pet shop looking for an
unusual Christmas gift for his wife. The shop owner suggested a parrot, named
Chet, which could sing famous Christmas carols.

This seemed like the perfect gift. "How do I get him to sing?" The young man
asked, excitedly.

"Simply hold a lighted match directly under his feet like this." was the shop
owner's reply. Chet began to sing "Jingle Bells! Jingle Bells! ..."

The shop owner then held another match under the parrot's right foot. Then
Chet's tune changed, and the air was filled with "Silent Night, Holy Night..."

The young man was so impressed that he paid the shop-keeper and ran home as
quickly as he could with Chet under his arm. When the wife saw her gift she
was overwhelmed. "How beautiful!" She exclaimed, "Can he talk?"

"No," the young man replied, "But he can sing. Let me show you."

So the young man whipped out his lighter and placed it under Chet's left foot,
as the shop-keeper had shown him, and Chet crooned, "Jingle Bells! The man then
moved the lighter to Chet's right foot, and out came, "Silent Night. Holy

The wife, her face filled with curiosity, then asked, "What if we hold the
lighter between his legs?" The man did not know. "Let's try it." He answered,
eager to please his wife.

So they held the lighter between Chet's legs. Chet twisted his face, cleared
his throat, the little parrot sang out loudly (like it was the performance of
his life) "Chet's nuts roasting on an open fire...."
Vomit before eating
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