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Top Reasons To Like Hanukkah More Than Christmas

~ No roof damage from reindeer.

~ Never a silent night when you're among your Jewish loved ones.

~ If someone screws up on their gift, there are seven more days
to correct it.

~ Betting Hanukkah gelt (the chocolate coins) on candle races.

~ You can use your fireplace.

~ Naked spin-the-dreidel games.

~ Fun waxy buildup on the menorah.

~ No awkward explanations of virgin birth.

~ Cheer optional.

~ No Irving Berlin songs.

~ There's no "Donny & Marie Chanukah Special."

~ Eight days of presents (in theory, anyway).

~ No need to clean the chimney.

~ There's no latke-nog.

~ Burl Ives doesn't sing Chanukah songs.

~ You won't be pressured to buy Chanukah Seals.

~ You won't see, "You're a Putz, Charlie Brown."

~ No barking dog version of "I had a Little Driedl."

~ No pine needles to vacuum up afterwards.

~ Blintzes are cheaper to mail than fruitcakes.

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