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Holiday Job Posting

Pay Rate: $20.00/Hr plus shift differential

Filing deadline: 12/23/95

Selected candidate must be available for international travel,
holiday and night work be physically able to lift heavy packages
over shoulder and possess a sleigh to perform work assignment.

Duties:
Make list and check it twice. Identify and deliver packages to
proper recipients by way of reindeer-powered airborne sleigh.
Supervise 100 unruly elves in the production of requested items.
Disperse and maintain holiday spirit when faces with turbulent
weather and physical demands of riding reindeer sleigh over 10,000
miles to accomodate 4 billion people in 16 hours.

Requirements:
Skill to determine who's naughty and nice, sleeping and waking
bad or good, for goodness sake! Skill to establish cooperative
working relationships with elves and gnomes knowledge of proper
diet and training required for flying reindeer ability to consume
approximatly 1 billion cups of lukewarm coca/milk and similar
amounts of stale, leftover cookies. Skill in deciphering
correspondence written in crayon. Ability to quickly maneuver down
chimneys or other available means while "ho, ho, hoing" and
simultaneously shaking belly.

Desirable:
Heavy, white facial growth and rosy red cheeks.

story Information

Upload Date: 31/12/1969

Downloads: 11951