The Top 14 Things Overheard at the Office Holiday Party

14. "So I said, 'Irv, if you don't put down that d*mn Uzi, you can just forget
about a raise this year'."

13. "President Clinton, the copier is not a toy."

12. "To all employees Please go to xmasparty.com for your free holiday drink."

11. "Hot hors d'oeuvres for 1,000 $2500; Santa Suit for the CEO $50; Hearing
them whine for a raise priceless!"

10. "Wow! Do you invite ALL your new interns to see the oval office?"

9. "What do they mean, 'year end profit'? We're an Internet company!"

8. "Oh, puh-leeze! I'll bet he put the copier on zoom 200%."

7. "Damn!!! Mistletoe everywhere and I've got sexual harassment charges
hanging over me."

6. "The company policy is 'No Office Romances' -- it says nothing about cheap,
meaningless sex on the boss's desk."

5. "Here's your Zima, Mr. Gore."

4. "When the boss called me into his office to give me a pink slip, I didn't
think he wanted me to 'wear' it."

3. "Don't worry, we have plenty of time to get the Nuclear Missile Launch
program Y2K compliant, besides, I always code better after a few drinks."

2. "Why, Mr. Gates! Another copy of Windows! You shouldn't have."

and Topfive.com's Number 1 Thing Overheard at the Office Holiday Party...

1. "Oh, man, Bob's making photocopies of his ass agai-- BOB, WAIT!! THAT'S
THE SHREDDER!!!"