A Sad Christmas Event

He lay in bed with an IV in one arm, Blood tranfusion in the other, he had a sore the size of a half dollar starting at the corner of his mouth, it was red and oozing. A handsome nine year old boy, with deep dark brown eyes and lashes a women would give an arm for. He stared into my face not knowing who I was, called me "mother new years". It was 3 days before Christmas he was in the hospital dying of Leukemia. He was my nephew, my sisters oldest son.

He had the blood cancer for almost two years, and now he was near death. Me my husband ,and two sons had driven from New Jersey to Chicago, straight through
over the Jersey Turnpike, when my sister called to tell me he was dying. My sister and I had always been very close and shared everything.

When Dougie called me mother new years, I almost lost it, had to turn away and whispered into my kleenex, god I
hate you. I had been alone with him for an hour giving my sister a break. When she came in and went over to the bed to
ask if he wanted a drink, he said "Let mother new years give it to me". I asked her where he got that name from she didn't know. Sadly we never did find out. The name still haunts me...

Douglas died right after new years on Jan 5th. It was the first childrens death our immediate family ever had. I was as close to Douglas as to my own son who was just a year younger than him, and many took for twins, they looked so much alike.
For months I had a recurring dream of seeing my son in the white casket in which Dougie was buried. For many years Christmas was marred for us.

This was many years ago, and an unusual note, my sister and I each had two boys. We both lost our oldest. For some reason this Christmas has bought them back to me like never before. Makes me wonder why, their spirits are reaching out to me so strongly now. They are always with me, in my heart, but not with this intensity. That's why I wrote about it.Maybe I'll get the answer.