Dictionary Of Dating

ATTRACTION: the act of associating horniness with a particular person. LOVE AT 1st SIGHT: what occurs when two extremely horny, but not entirely choosy people meet. DATING: the process of spending enormous amounts of money, time, and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don't especially like in the present and will learn to like a whole lot less in the future. BIRTH CONTROL: avoiding pregnancy through such tactics as swallowing special pills, inserting a diaphragm, using a condom, and dating repulsive men. EASY: a term used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of a man. EYE CONTACT: a method utilized by a single woman to communicate to a man that she is interested in him. Despite being advised to do so, many woman have difficulty looking a man directly in the eyes, not necessarily due to the shyness, but usually due to the fact that a woman's eyes are not located in her chest. FRIEND: a member of the opposite sex in your acquaintance who has some flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealing. INDIFFERENCE: a woman's feeling towards a man, which is interpreted to by the man as "playing hard to get." INTERESTING: a word a man uses to describe a woman who lets him do all the talking. IRRITATING HABIT: what the endearing little qualities that initially attract people to each other turn into after a few months together. LAW OF RELATIVITY: how attractive a given person appears to be is directly proportionate to how unattractive your date is. NYMPHOMANIAC: a man's term for a woman who wants to have sex more often than he does. SOBER: condition in which it is almost impossible to fall in love.