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What's My Name? (OS)

(by Claire Hassel) The following text is the transcript of an interview with the murderer of Floyd Bowman, the man has yet to be identified and escaped custody the next day.

xxx Interview started at 6:45pm, 05/09/2005 xxx

What’s your name?

What’s my name? It’s Wolfe Hannigan, I told you.

We have already told you, we checked our records and there’s been no Wolfe Hannigan born in Britain since 1418 and he was proclaimed dead after he went missing in 1437.

A good year that, good crops from what I saw; spent the end of the year in Greece so I missed a lot of it.

Drop the ruse Mr. Hannigan, if that’s your real name.

I thought we’d discussed this, I was born in 1418, you only have records of me because I got the flu when I was six and was in the infirmary for two weeks as a result.

Alright, for the sake of this interview we shall assume you are telling the truth regarding your name, what were you doing September 4th 2005?

You know bloody well what I was doing, you walked in on me! Ruined it as well, I had gotten quite into him.

For the benefit of the tape, please tell us what you were doing Mr. Hannigan.


Eating what Mr. Hannigan?

Call me Wolfe, and I was drinking blood if you must know, that’s why there’s been no Wolfe Hannigans since 1418, I was taken, and turned into a vampire by another vampire named Malise, she was pretty, but stark raving mad.

A likely story Mr Hannigan, there’ve been a number of murders in the city that we could easily put your name to, are you a fanatic?

No, a real vampire, I’d prove it to you, but you’d refuse to believe it and put it down to the 8 cups of coffee you’ve consumed in the past 3 hours.

How-...? Lucky guess. How many people have you killed Mr. Hannigan?

Thousands, and I told you to call me Wolfe.

How many have you killed this year?

It’s September, so I’d say between 40 and 80.

Are you playing with us Mr-... Wolfe?

No, I’m being perfectly serious, these questions are boring; ask me something interesting, like something about my mental wellbeing, or perhaps whether I had a traumatic childhood.

Did you have a traumatic childhood?

No actually, my father died before I was born from the plague, and I was raised mainly by my mother, but my aunt and uncle helped. I was happy while I grew up. Next question.

Would you say you are sane?

Yes, I know what I do is wrong, but I do it to live. I don’t feel guilty because there’s a demon in my mind that stops me from feeling bad about killing people. I’m not schizophrenic, I’m perfectly sane, just dead, that’s all. The demon talks to me, and again I’ll repeat that I’m not crazy, I’m not paranoid or anything, the demon just makes living easier.

For the benefit of the tape, Detective Radcliff just left the room. What happened the night we caught you Wolfe?

Well, I met up with Floyd in a gay bar, I’m a bit queer you see, have been for a while now-...

You mean homosexual?

Yes, now don’t interrupt or I won’t talk. I met up with Floyd in a gay bar, and after kissing and dancing, you’d call it grinding, we decided to go for a walk. I led him into an alleyway, gave him a bloody good blowjob, and then while he was all post-coital I bit him and drank his blood, did he live by the way?

No, the blood-loss was too heavy.

Pity, he was tasty, anyway, just as I was finishing you guys showed up and shoved me into a pair of those flimsy handcuff things, you do know I could snap those without even trying.

I doubt that Mr. Hannigan.

Back to being formal now are we? I guess it’s uncomfortable being friendly with a cold-blooded murderer. I understand, perfectly normal human reaction that.

Why do you kill people Mr. Hannigan?

Because if I didn’t I’d starve, because I enjoy it, better than sex, you should try, and because the demon in my head tells me to.

Have you ever killed a child Mr. Hannigan?

Oh, now we’re getting to the good part, yes, many over the years, they always taste the sweetest on their own, adults are usually best with alcohol or a drug in their system. I’ve never killed anyone below the age of 10 though; I like to give them a chance to live first.

Nice to know you have morals, even if they’re twisted.

I’m glad you agree. You’re still being boring.

Well, Mr. Hannigan, what do you think would make this interview more entertaining for you?

You don’t want to know what I think, it may sicken you.

Try me.

Okay, what I’m thinking right now is how I’d love to stand up and move so fast you can’t see so I’m behind you, and then I’d like to force your head to the side and sink my fangs into your lovely soft neck. Your skin would break so easily, the smell of those nicks you made when you were shaving this morning is driving me crazy. You’d taste so good, I know you would.

Are you trying to shock me Mr. Hannigan?

No, I’m being honest, would you like me to try to shock you? My sex life would shock you no problem.

I think I could go without information on that Mr. Hannigan. Do you agree that you are in fact a serial killer Mr. Hannigan?

Yes, but not a psycho, sorry to disappoint but I’m not going to hiss at you like Hannibal Lecter, unless you’d like to be called Clarise, would you?

No thank you Mr. Hannigan.

Pity, that would’ve been fun, can we stop now? I’m bored.

We’ll be back later Mr. Hannigan, see you then.

I’ll be gone by then.

I doubt that, interview ended at 7:14pm.
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