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Infinity

I tip the bottle back, enjoying the warmth of the alcohol against the back of my throat. It burns a little, but the relief that will soon follow makes it all worthwhile.

I sigh as a light breeze caresses my cheek. I set the bottle down next to me and lean back, peering up at the night sky. I love sitting up on the roof of my apartment building at night. For some reason, I enjoy counting the stars until I get drowsy and can’t remember which number I’m on. I like starting over. It comforts me that I’ll never really get there, that there’s too many for me to ever actually count.

“Infinity,” I mumble to myself, letting my eyes close. “The sky is infinity. Forever.”

“Other things can be forever, too.”

I start, my eyes flying open, my body tensing. I didn’t hear any footsteps and I wasn’t expecting anyone. I’ve never seen the man who is now up here with me, and in my alcoholic daze I don’t bother trying to find out who he is. I just sit up and get ready to make a run for it.

A slow grin spreads across the face of the young, attractive man. He drops to his knees and settles down next to me. “Relax,” he commands, brushing his straight, blonde hair out of his emerald green eyes. “I’m not trying to intrude. I just thought as long as you weren’t doing anything but drinking yourself into a stupor, I’d join you. I’m Tyler. I’m in apartment 1B.”6

“Adam,” I say slowly, suspiciously.

Tyler lies back and turns on his side to face me. It unnerves me, the way he stares at me so openly, unabashedly. I turn away and reach for my bottle.

“That’s really bad for you, you know.”

I freeze with my hand still on the neck of the bottle. “What would you know?” I demand.

“Nothing, of course,” he retorts nonchalantly. “I’m just assuming that millions of doctors aren’t wrong when they say it is.”

“Who the hell are you, anyway?” I continue, yelling now, as though he’d never spoken. “Who are you to come up here so late at night and ruin my time? What gives you the right?”

He is unfazed by my outburst. “You know you really need it when you start screaming if someone challenges your problem.”

My face is burning and rage is building up inside of me. I don’t have a problem. Enjoying a drink now and again isn’t a problem, I tell myself. Don’t let him get to you. “Fuck you,” I growl.

He shrugs a little and smirks. “Only if you really want to.”

“You little sh*t!” I exclaim. Anger quickens my pulse and, without thinking, I grab his wrists, straddle him, pin him to the concrete beneath us. I keep a hold of his wrists with my right hand and clench my free hand into a fist, ready to beat the sh*t out of him for insulting my sexuality.

And then I blink.

The anger seeps away from me as I see his expression. It’s fearless, unconcerned. The urge to beat him to a bloody pulp isn’t there anymore. Instead, I’m envious, jealous of his bravery. I’m not sure what to do now. I let go of his wrists.18

He rotates them, stretching them out. “You sure you don’t want to do it? I don’t mind. Everyone needs to beat up on someone once in a while. God knows people have beaten up on me plenty.”19

I shake my head slightly and move to get off of him, go back to my respective space. He furrows his brow and stops me with a hand on my shoulder. “It’s always okay in the end, though,” he tells me. “It always gets better.”20

I gasp. Something about that statement hits me just the right way. 21

It’s always okay in the end. 22

“No one’s ever….” I trail off, not sure how to say what I want to say. “No one’s ever said that to me before,” I finish finally.23

He reaches his other hand up and pulls me down closer to him, so that my face is right in his. “Well it’s time someone did.”24

He tips his head up and presses his lips to mine. I tense and try to pull away, but he holds me to him and I finally stop struggling. I hear myself moan and I let my lips part. I’ve never kissed a man before and it’s gentler than I would have expected. I rub my fingers against his fair cheek and let myself give in.25

As his tongue explores my mouth and he runs his fingers through my dark hair, I realize that I’ve never felt this before. I’ve never felt this want, this need, this longing….this love. I know that I only just met this self-assured bastard a half an hour ago, but I don’t ever want to lose the feel of his lips against mine.

I hope this is one of the things that lasts forever.

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Upload Date: 31/12/1969

Downloads: 2309

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