A Message Of Hope...

Many people feel that I have it rough. They think that they can feel sorry for me because they know I am physically disabled, but I try NOT to let their negativity bring me down. I have enough problems of my OWN without having them put their negativity upon me!

Or worse, they feel that I need extra help because I don't get around as easily as most people, but I can do many things by myself, and I can do it without extra help, thank you very much!

I am disabled, but I can do plenty of things for myself. If I need help, I will ask for it, but NOT until then!

But ENOUGH about me.

I sometimes have wondered why I am even here on this earth. I wonder why I have had to suffer so much heartache and pain in my life; but as I get older, and know more about life, I realize that I am here for a reason; everyone is. I was put upon this earth because God wanted me here, and He has a reason for my pain. Now I may NOT understand it a lot of times, but compared to a lot of people, I suddenly have realized just how fortunate I really am. I mean, I can walk quite well (especially since having my knee replacement surgery this past summer), and I can USUALLY get around with little or no difficulty. I also can take medicine if my pain gets to be too much for me to handle, or I can take a nap and rest if I am not feeling well. Or, if my breathing is bothering me, I can always take my inhaler and get relief from the chest tightness or wheezy feelings. I usually get relief in a few short minutes; but if not, I can always go to my doctor's, where I can get a shot or some stronger medicine; and then I am USUALLY okay. Besides, my breathing IS getting better, and although I MAY have SOME problems sometimes, my breathing is a LOT better than it used to be, and I know well enough now to stay away from some of the stuff that may make me sick.

Besides being able to breathe easier or relieve my pain when I am hurting, I am also fortunate because I have two good eyes, and I have no trouble hearing or talking. (For a while, I DID have a bit of trouble talking, thanks to a stroke I had nearly 3 years ago, but you already know about that, so I am NOT going to repeat myself again and bore you with the details.) I also have a very good mind, and I am very smart (sometimes too smart for my own good, maman says!). I have always done well in school, and school has always been very easy for me. I also have a family who loves me for who I am inside, and they have instilled in me positive values and morals, and it is because of my family that I have a very good opinion about myself and feel good about what I am and what I can do.

I also have a strong faith in God, and I know that if I have a problem I can't discuss with my very own family, I can ALWAYS discuss it with Him, and He is ALWAYS there, no matter WHAT I may be going through at a particular time in my life. Right now, as an example, I am having a problem with my body image because even though I am a pre-teenager now, I still look like a little girl, and I am embarrassed about not having breasts (I am as flat as a board!), and I haven't started my period yet. I have been asking God for help in these two areas, and I know they will both happen in time, but for now, they haven't, and this is why I am so embarrassed. Some of my friends in my class are already starting to develop, and some of them have even started their periods; but so far, I haven't, and I feel more like a little kid than a pre-teenager. It also doesn't help that I am short: at the age of ten, ten-and-a-half, I look more like EIGHT than nearly 11 years of age! It is emabarrassing!

Still, with all the stuff I have to go through, I am able to do a lot of things, and I am not nearly as bad off as many people are. This is why I am here, to encourage others, especially when they are going through rough times themselves. I pray for them, or with them, if they so choose, and I also tell them that God is always there, even with everything that has happened, and that He will never leave; and that somehow makes them feel a lot better. It makes me feel better, too. I also tell them that if I can get through the rough times in my life, be it with my health, my family, my emotions, or my personal stuff, then they can too! All they have to do is look to God (or whoever they believe in if they don't believe in God!) and ask for help in whatever area they need help in, and they WILL get through the bad times. I did, and they shall, too! Bad times don't last forever; the bad times eventually go away! Or I sing a song for them, and that makes them happy, and then I am glad I am able to sing because it makes them feel good, and I end up feeling good inside, too. I give people a sense of hope, and in the end, I end up giving myself that very same message, too. So it works BOTH ways.

I guess I was meant to be an encourager; and now that I know that, I suddenly don't feel so worried or stressed about MOST things. If I can cheer just one person up or make them feel better, then I know that people will think highly of me, and they won't see me as a bad person, but as a good person with a kind and compassionate heart about her, and I would rather be seen as a good person than a bad person any day! (By Karen Lynn Vidra)