Somehow Life Moves Along

" We have no choice, we have to amputate, we were hoping to be able to save your right leg, but it’s damaged to badly. "

" Do what you have to do doctor, I just want to live. " I said sounding more steady and sure of myself than I felt. "

" I am not going to kid you, it’s not going to be easy, but you’re strong and I know you will be able to handle it. "

I really had no choice though did I? I mean it was either let them take off my leg, or risk dying. I wasn’t ready to die, at seventeen. I hadn’t even graduated from highschool yet, graduation was only a matter of weeks away, and I wondered if I was going to make it.

" Will I be able to walk by the time graduation comes? " I asked worried.

" There is no way of saying for sure either way. It’s not going to be easy though, I can tell you that much. "

I woke up hours later in the hospital room, a pain in the leg that was no longer there, phantom pain they called it, but it felt so real, I wanted to cry out. It hurt like crazy, but I had to deal with this, this was my life now, I was now someone with a disability, it made me realize how quickly things can change.

" As soon as the wound heals more, we are going to fit you with a prostheses and will start you out with crutches eventually you will graduate to a cane, then you won’t need any assistance. I can not say how long it will be, but you are young and strong and I know you can do it. "

I kept thinking back to life before the accident, and how simple things had seemed then, but now things weren’t so simple, things I had once taken for granted, things like walking along the beach, barefoot, those days were done now, but I was alive, that was what really mattered right.

I knew my soccer playing days were over, but somehow I would move on, somehow life would move along, maybe I would play women’s basketball in college, maybe I would teach myself to run, or maybe I would completely devote my time to my studies.

I wondered if a man could love a woman who was less than whole, but I wasn’t going to dwell on that either. I was a live, I could have died, it was truly God’s grace that I didn’t. I saw pictures of the car, I was lucky I only lost my legs, I could have lost my life.

Lord thank you for sparing me, I wasn’t ready to die. And please help me to deal with the loss of my leg, I know I could do none of this without you.

I walked up those stairs and to the podium where I received my diploma I walked with only the aide of prayers and faith. I had come farther than I had even expected.

Copyright Michelle R Kidwell