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Things Not To Say During Childbirth

– Gosh, you’re lucky. I sure wish men could experience the miracle of childbirth. – Do you think the baby will come before Monday Night Football starts? – I hope your ready. The Glamour Shot photographer will be here in fifteen minutes. – If you think this hurts, I should tell you about the time I twisted my ankle playing basketball. – That was the kids on the phone. Did you have anything planned for dinner? – When you lay on your back, you look like a python that swallowed a wild boar. – You don’t need an epidural. Just relax and enjoy the moment. – This whole experience kind of reminds me of an episode from I Love Lucy. – Oops! Which cord was I

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