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More Workplace One Liners.

A computer does save time at work. I can play solitaire without having to spend all that time shuffling real cards.

When an employment application asks who is to be notified in case of emergency, I write: "A very good doctor."

After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it.

The less important you are to the corporation, the more your tardiness or absence is noticed.

To err is human. To forgive is against company policy.

I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. Mainly because it was a sew-sew job.

I got a job in a work-out-center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.

Our company has always had a problem with interoffice communications. For instance, last week the Personnel Department sent around a memo on sexual harassment. Three people initialed it and six people signed up for it.

I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.

I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.

The workers at the Federal Mint went on strike today. They are demanding to make less money!
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