Explore
Category
-
Funny Video & Movies
- Funny Video & Movies
- Funny animal videos
- Funny cat videos
- Funny dog videos
- Funny car videos
- Funny game videos
- Funny Asian videos
- Funny video commercials
- Funny sports & games videos
- Funny kid videos
- Funny sexy videos
- Funny cartoon videos
- Funny adult videos
- Funny celebrity videos
- Funny stupid videos
- Funny romance videos
- Funny man videos
- Funny woman videos
- Funny gay & lesbian videos
- Funny political videos
- Funny work/office videos
- Funny movie trailers
- Funny music videos
- Funny football videos
- Funny family videos
- Funny travel videos
- Funny science videos
- Funny halloween videos
- Funny Christmas videos
- Funny Valentine videos
- Funny thanksgiving videos
-
Funny Cartoons
- Funny Cartoons
- Greeting card cartoons
- Funny sexy cartoons
- Funny political cartoons
- Funny Thanksgiving cartoons
- Funny animals cartoons
- Funny dog cartoons
- Funny animated cartoons
- Funny women cartoons
- Funny wedding cartoons
- Funny drunk cartoons
- Funny nude cartoons
- Crazy frog cartoons
- Funny work cartoons
- Funny Christmas cartoons
- Funny Birthday cartoons
- Funny cat cartoons
- Funny sport cartoons
- Funny gay cartoons
- Funny men cartoons
- Funny police cartoons
- Funny love cartoons
- Funny kid cartoons
- Funny Flashes
- Funny Sounds
-
Funny Ringtones
- Funny Ringtones
- Funny ringtones
- Exciting ringtones
- Mystery ringtones
- Nature ringtones
- Romantic ringtones
- War ringtones
- Halloween ringtones
- New Year & Xmas ringtones
- Techno ringtones
- Valentine ringtones
- DJ ringtones
- Scary ringtones
- Crazy ringtones
- Movie ringtones
- Music ringtones
- Funny animal ringtones
- Alien ringtones
- Accessory ringtones
- Bell ringtones
- Mosquito ringtones
- Human sound ringtones
- Instrumental ringtones
- Arabic ringtones
- Kids ringtones
- Rock ringtones
- Ethnic ringtones
- Happy birthday ringtones
- Rap ringtones
- Breakdance ringtone
- Voice ringtones
- Opera ringtones
- Games ringtones
- Lounge ringtones
- Funny instrument ringtones
- Drunk ringtones
- Laugh ringtones
- Electronic melody ringtone
- Dirty ringtone
- Miscellaneous ringtones
- Thanksgiving ringtones
- Mouse ringtones
- Baby ringtones
-
Audio Clips
- Audio Clips
- Effects audio clip
- Funny audio clip
- Music audio clip
- Weird audio clip
- Erotic audio clip
- Christmas audio clip
- Halloween/scary audio clip
- Birthday audio clip
- Laugh audio clip
- Animal audio clip
- Nature audio clip
- Voice audio clip
- Scream audio clip
- Instrumental audio clip
- Non-vocal songs
- MIDI Store
- Funny Remixes
- Funny Song Parodies
-
Funny Pictures
- Funny Pictures
- Animal photos
- Baby pictures
- Car photos
- Celebrity photos
- Funny photos
- Holidays photos
- House pictures
- Kiss pictures
- New world wonder photos
- Pet gallery
- Playboy photos
- Sportsmen photo
- War photos
- Wedding photos
- Valentine pictures
- Halloween pictures
- American Idol photos
- Black and White pictures
- Christmas photos
- Tattoo pictures
- Winter photos
- Summer photos
- Autumn photos
- Spring photos
- Beach photos
- Sunset photos
- Aerial photos
- Prom pictures
- Flower pictures
- Country photos
- 7 world wonders photos
- Garden pictures
- Movie picture
- Thanksgiving pictures
- Miscellaneous pictures
-
Wallpapers
- Wallpapers
- Animated/Cartoon Wallpaper
- Funny Wallpaper
- Celebrity Wallpaper
- Sexy Wallpaper
- 3D and Digital art Wallpaper
- Valentine/Love Wallpaper
- Nature Wallpaper
- Game Wallpaper
- Movie Wallpaper
- Music Wallpaper
- Christmas Wallpaper
- Flower Wallpaper
- Beach Wallpaper
- Final fantasy Wallpaper
- Car Wallpaper
- Animal Wallpaper
- Landscape Wallpaper
- Art Wallpaper
- Photograph Wallpaper
- Space Wallpaper
- Sport Wallpaper
- Military Wallpaper
- Model Wallpaper
- Bikini Wallpaper
- Thanksgiving Wallpaper
-
Funny Jokes
- Funny Jokes
- Kid jokes
- Blonde jokes
- Adult jokes
- Political jokes
- Family jokes
- School jokes
- Clean jokes
- Funny quotes
- Lawyer quotes
- Bar Jokes
- Free jokes
- Animal jokes
- Business jokes
- Celebrities jokes
- Christmas jokes
- Computer jokes
- Condom jokes
- Crazy jokes
- Dirty jokes
- Drunk jokes
- Food jokes
- Gays & Lesbians jokes
- Gender jokes
- Holidays jokes
- Job jokes
- Lawyer jokes
- Marriage jokes
- Medical jokes
- Office jokes
- Redneck jokes
- Sex jokes
- Sports jokes
- Women jokes
- Work jokes
- Halloween jokes
- Thanksgiving jokes
-
Short Stories
- Short Stories
- Best short story
- Romance/Love short story
- Children short story
- Teen short story
- Christmas short story
- Biography short story
- Funny short story
- Scary/Horror short story
- Classic short story
- American short story
- British short story
- Australian short story
- Fiction short story
- Science fiction short story
- Adult short story
- Family short story
- Gay/Lesbian short story
- Inspirational short story
- Fairy tale short story
- Chicken soup for soul
-
Funny Quizzes
- Quizzes
- Personality quiz
- Romance/love quiz
- Teen quiz
- Movie quiz
- Music quiz
- Funny sex quiz
- Funny Q&A
- Kid quiz
- IQ test
- EQ test
- Animal quiz
- Celebrities quiz
- Entertainment quiz
- Geography quiz
- History quiz
- Literature quiz
- Math quiz
- Science quiz
- People quiz
- Religion quiz
- World quiz
- Funny game
- Humanities quiz
- Hobbies quiz
- Puzzle
- Brain teaser
- Tips
Holidays
Free media tool
Our pages
- AVZIO
- Funny Jokes
- Redneck jokes
- The lawyer and the Redneck
The lawyer and the Redneck
A bigshot city lawyer and a redneck got into a car wreck on a hot summer day. The lawyer got out of his BMW and the redneck got out of his pickup to survey the damage, and the redneck realized he was at fault.
"YOU STUPID HICK!" shouted the lawyer, looking with contempt at the redneck in his dirty overalls and tangled beard.
"Hick, huh?" though the redneck. "How am I gonna get outa this?"
After looking over the handsome, impeccably dressed and dignified city lawyer in his $2,000 navy blue pinstriped suit, carefully knotted red silk tie, starched white shirt, silver cufflinks and black dress shoes polished like mirrors, $1,000 briefcase and hundred dollar haircut, the redneck walked back to his car, got out a bottle, and brought it back. Mister Hotshot was checking his suit and shoes to make sure they were not dirty.
He handed it to the lawyer, and said, "Here, you look pretty shook up. I think you ought to take a nip of this. It'll steady your nerves, it's home made."
Mister Pinstripes did, but was so angry about the wreck, he refused to speak. The redneck then said, "You still look a little bit pale. How about another?" And the smug, pompous lawyer took another swallow. After a few minutes, he began to feel the heat of the sun hrough his wool suit.
Then the redneck said "It's mighty hot today. Folks 'round here don't usually wear shoes on a day like this. Why don't you take off them fancy shoes, and the socks, too?"
The lawyer frowned: "Take off my shoes and socks? Do I LOOK like someone who would walk around barefoot? That's fine for rednecks, but not for a professional like ME! These are $500 shoes!"
But after a few more sips, the redneck asked him again, and then again, and finally the lawyer let out a drunken laugh, and took off his polished shoes and socks. Then the redneck said: "Why don't you take off that fancy tie?"
"Take off my tie?" said the lawyer with a sneer and slur in his voice. "I'm a lawyer!!!" But then he looked down at his bare feet and took off his tie...
The redneck said: "And the suit? You look kind of funny standing there barefoot in a suit! I got another pair of overalls you can wear while we figger out what to do about this situation!"
The lawyer tried to give him an arroagnt look, but he was feeling the heat of the sun and the liquor. He tried to resist, but...
Off came the jacket of the $2,000 pinstriped suit. Then the white shirt. Finally, the trousers, too, and the lawyer pulled on the overalls.
At the urging of the redneck, the lawyer then took another sip, and another, and another.
The suspenders and the cufflinks and the briefcase were all in a heap now, and the lawyer was having a hard time standing up. After another half hour, the lawyer said he was feeling pretty good, and asked the redneck if he didn't think that he ought to have a little nip, too. Then he realized he couldn't find the redneck... or his expensive clothes.
"Not me", the redneck replied, stepping out from behind a tree and wearing the lawyer's clothes and holding the keys to his BMW. He looked at the formerly well-dressed and dignified lawyer, barefoot in overalls and drunk as a skunk and looking like a true redneck, "Here's the keys to my pickup. Now that I've cut ya down to size, I'm waiting for the state trooper!"
story Information
Upload Date: 31/12/1969 |
Downloads: 1204 |
Other Stories
Other Stories893 downloads
3102 downloads
1294 downloads
930 downloads
973 downloads
1161 downloads