Pain

Once I approach the classroom I stare at her through the door window, the only barrier between myself and relief, she looks up and waves. I slip inside and close the door. I slightly bang my head on the glass and breathe a sigh in hopes to terminate the vast nervousness in my veins from what I am about to do.

"Hey you." She speaks with words so soft.

Silently approaching her, I take another breath and look into her eyes, standing my ground in between her and her escape.

"I…I can’t…"

"Can’t what?" She says.

"I’m sorry."

"Wh – what?"

"I’m sorry… If you misinterpreted us… What we have… Our friendship."

She looks me in the eye with a curious, confused expression.

"I just… I can’t… stop thinking about you. You’re in my mind all day and I love it and I hate it and… and I just… needed you to know, I guess."

Still with a confused expression, she forms her lips in response.

"Don’t speak." I said.

"Just – I can’t… I can’t do anything! I can’t sleep, I can’t concentrate, I can’t even talk straight… It’s painful, knowing that you don’t know. You’re just this big… thing… growing and growing by day, taking over my mind and I just can’t do anything… about it. I just… I just needed to tell you, so maybe it could… maybe it could stop."

After noticing her knees frozen solid, I continue.

"I’m just… in love… with you. And I know you don’t feel the same way but I just… It just needed to get out."

After a pause in time she moves toward the exit, but my instinct takes over and I grab her shoulders with my palms.

"Wha – What are you doing? Let go, let… Go… LET GO!" She screams with tears as I wrap my arms around her backside and bring my lips to her ear.

"I just needed you to know. I love you! I do, I do… I do."

I push her back to a standard stance. Noticing the tears drowning her skin cells, I give her an ultimatum.

"If you… Fell about me as I feel about you, you have to let me know. You have to. Because what I’m feeling for you doesn’t deserve to be wasted on a missed opportunity like this one. And if you don’t, then the pain will stop… I want you to always be there in my mind, but I just need the pain to stop. Please, make it stop."

After ten seconds of silence, she pushes through my heart and goes for the doorknob as my life fills with silence. Silence. Nothing. No more pain… Not now. But she’s still here, I can feel her, but I can’t look back. Telling myself I can’t look back. It’s her choice.

After seconds that seem like days pass me by, I hear a distant movement.

She sprints towards me and turns me around with such ferocity I could never see it coming. Her mouth meets with mine and suddenly I feel the grinding of our teeth in the most sensitive nerves of my body. She grabs my collar and pulls me even closer to the point where I can’t breathe.

We finally depart from one another by inches, which seem like miles after that sensational experience. While I’m still speechless, she somehow finds words to speak with tears:

"My pain… My pain is gone."

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Upload Date: 31/12/1969

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