The story of an outcast.

Life doesn't like me
Love isn't what it seems
Life is harder
When you're different
Why can't I be the same?
Because I don't want to be
Even if it means being
an outcast.



Three months ago I figured out I liked guys.I don't mean like as a friend either.Some people think guy and guy love is sick...but it's no different from guy and girl love.You might think I'm the type of person who walks around with make-up and dresses.Well I'm not.I dress like a normal guy and talk like one too.Surprising isn't it?People don't even know I'm gay.Only Kika and Joe my two best friends know.There the only people I trust with my secret.I know my band would not want me to even look at them anymore.Now you're probably wondering how I discovered I'm gay, huh?

Three months earlier

"Class, class please settle down.We have a new student.This is kyle."A tall, dark haired boy stood in front of the class.He had many piercings.He wore dark clothes and spiked wrist bands and chains.His hazel eyes caught mine and stood there for a few seconds until I turned back to my work.I hears the girls in back of me talking about him.The girls found him hot and the guys thought nothing of him.After class Victoria the head cheerleader walked up to him while he was at his locker.They talked for about a minute till I saw her jaw drop and kyle walk away.Victoria's friends rushed over to her side.As I walked by them that's when I heard it."What he say?"She giggled some."He said he's gay."I almost tripped!He was the last person I'd expect to be gay.The word spread pretty fast and soon the entire hallway was laughing and teasing Kyle.He just ignored the laughs and kept walking as if nothing was going on.When I went to gym there he stood.The gay boy as they called him stood in a corner of the gym.After a while the gym teacher got us back on track and nothing more was said."Ok boys, hit the showers."Back in the shower room it all started again but this time the boys kept their distance.His eyes caught mine again.They looked more annoyed than earlier.Winston the head basket ball leader walked up to Kyle."What are you doing here fool?You don't belong here.What wrong, man?What are you doing in New York fag?"Kyle turned around and stared at winston."You wanna know what I'm doing here?"Winston nodded."Yeah, I wanna know what you're doing here."Kyle smirked."This."he grabbed the back of winston's head and kissed him, adding some tongue.Winston pulled away quickly and came back at kyle about to punch him but his friends helb him back.

Kyle was just standing there staring at them."Fucking fag!What the hell are you doing?"He struggled again trying to hit Kyle but they held him back."Maybe if you weren't f**king with him he wouldn't have kissed you."I said trying to make a point."Mind your busyness, white boy!"Winston said snarling.Kyle turned back around to his locker, got his stuff, and left.Winston stared at me like he was going to eat me like he was going to eat me.That's when I decided it was time to go.I walked through the halls and couldn't help but feel someone was watching me.I turned around and saw Kyle."Umm...umm..."I didn't know what to say."It was really nice of you to stick up for me like that."I gulped and tried not to sound nervous."Yeah, um...you're probably going through a lot now."As he took one step forward I took one step back."Thanks for your help but I know how to handle myself."He grabbed my arm and I felt my heart stop."Umm...umm..."He rubbed my arm softly."It's ok I'm not going to hurt you."I could feel myself shaking.His eyes locked with mine again this time longer than before."I...umm...I have to go."Kyle pulled me to him."You don't have to be scared of me."He came closer.Drops of sweat fell from my forehead."What's your name?"I breathed roughly."Alex."Kyle came as close as our bodies would let him.Just then the bell rang."I gotta go.Bye!"I left running.

My friends Kika and Joe stood in my next class.I sat next to Kika."Are you ok, Alex?You don't look so good."Kika looked worried."I'm fine."I said calmly.Kyle walked in the classroom passed me and to the back."I'm assigning you all partners for your projects.And because of our new student changes have been made to my plans.So Victoria, joe, and kika will be one group and Kyle and Alex will be another."Snickering came from came from the class.When will this nightmare end?I looked at Victoria and she was looking to joe and kika like they had a disease.I looked back at kyle and he was staring at me smiling.After class I walked home with joe and kika."Alex!"Someone called my name.I looked back only to see kyle.My friends looked at each other then back at me.He ran up to me."About the project.."I had forgotten about the stupid project."Should we start today?We only have a week."I nodded."Sure."I rubbed the back of my neck."Your place or mine?"He asked me.That came out so wrong."Uhh...mine."He nodded and I gave him my address .Both my friends stared at me as kyle walked away.

Later that day I sat on the couch staring at the door.I was shaking a bit.My parents away on business and I'm home alone.The bell rang and I fell off the couch.I walked to the door and opened it slowly.There he was."Hi...Kyle...come in."He walked inside and went to the living room to sit on the couch.I followed and sat on the other side of it.Kyle moved over to me."So what's going to be our topic?"I tensed as he played with my hair."I...umm....umm.."He rubbed my leg."It's ok.Trust me."I moved away.He looked at me.He looked deep into my eyes."Don't reject me now Alex."He said as he stood up.His lips lightly brushed mine.I stood frozen.I gulped as he pulled me on top of him on a chair.He kissed my lips softly then my neck."Stop!"I yelled as I stood up and moved away."Please, just sit down Alex."I backed away until I fell in an armchair.He got up and I started to sweat."Don't be like that."He stood in front of me."W-what do you want from me?"He sat on the floor in front of my feet."Nothing."He said softly."Where are your parents?"He asked playing with the hem of my pants."They're...away.They always are."My voice still shaky."I see."He said putting his head on my lap."What is he doing?"I thought to myself."Mine are dead."This made me so uncomfortable.I wanted to push him off but I couldn't.Instead I put my hand on his head.I don't know what I was thinking.After a while he got up.His cheeks were red.I got up as well and we stared at each other face to face.He wrapped his arms around me, bring his face close to mine.Part of me wanted to pull away.The other part didn't.He kissed me deeply.I pushed him away."I...feel weird."He smiled and sat back down on the couch.I wanted to kiss him again but I shook the feeling off."People make a big deal out of something small.It will always be that way."

Kyle left soon after that.We never got to discuss the project.I went to my room and thought about today.I keep telling myself I'm not gay.After today I'm not sure about anything anymore.I heard the door downstairs close as if someone came in but I choose to ignore it."What's happening to me?"I ask myself.My room door creaked open."Alex?"Kika turned on the lights."Turn off the lights."I said covering my eyes."Why are you laying here with the lights off?"She said turning off the lights and sitting next to me."No reason."I felt her hand grab mine."If something was wrong you'd tell me right?"I squeezed her hand lightly."Yes."She hugged me and kissed my cheek.She layed with me for a while.The next morning she was gone.Even though we were just friends it doesn't seem that way sometimes.Thank god it was saterday.I got up and went to the bathroom turning on the warm water.As the water hit my body in little sprinkles I thought about last night.I turned to get the soap and as I turned back around I saw kyle.He was wet and nude.He pulled me into a kiss and I kissed back!Then reality hit me and I opened my eyes to see Kyle was never really there."What's happening to me?"I screamed out.The last thing I wanted to think about was being gay!

I washed myself off and got out of the shower.I wrapped the towel around my waist.I walked to my bed and sat down.Kyle ran through my mind as I thought about what I was becoming.A knock at my bedroom door disturbed my thoughts.I stood to open the door but kyle opened it before I could."Why don't you ever lock your doors?"He asked while eying me."Small town.Kika and Joe like to drop in every now and then.Why do you walk into peoples houses uninvited?"I clutched my towel with my life."I knocked.No one answered.The door was open so I decided to come in and see if you were home."He smiled."And you are."I walked to the door."And now you can leave."I tried to close the door but he held it open."We still need to get the project started."I sighed."Let me get dressed."His grin grew."Go ahead."He pulled at my towel."Kyle stop!Just stop!"He stopped now."I'm not like you!"Kyle's stare was serious now."Are you sure about that?"My face was red with outrage."Yes!"Kyle's eyes looked down with disappointment.I couldn't help but grab his cheeks."I hate you!"I yelled pulling him into a kiss.He kissed back, pushing my onto the bed.Kyle took his shirt off while on top of me.That's when we heard a it.Loud gasps came from outside the door.Kyle and I turned to see Kika and Joe outside my bedroom door.Kika had a look of horror on her face.She ran down the stairs and I heard the door slam.Joe stared, his face pale but expression showed anger."I can't believe this sh*t!"He ran after kika.I pushed Kyle off and ran after them."Please wait!"