Explore
Category
-
Funny Video & Movies
- Funny Video & Movies
- Funny animal videos
- Funny cat videos
- Funny dog videos
- Funny car videos
- Funny game videos
- Funny Asian videos
- Funny video commercials
- Funny sports & games videos
- Funny kid videos
- Funny sexy videos
- Funny cartoon videos
- Funny adult videos
- Funny celebrity videos
- Funny stupid videos
- Funny romance videos
- Funny man videos
- Funny woman videos
- Funny gay & lesbian videos
- Funny political videos
- Funny work/office videos
- Funny movie trailers
- Funny music videos
- Funny football videos
- Funny family videos
- Funny travel videos
- Funny science videos
- Funny halloween videos
- Funny Christmas videos
- Funny Valentine videos
- Funny thanksgiving videos
-
Funny Cartoons
- Funny Cartoons
- Greeting card cartoons
- Funny sexy cartoons
- Funny political cartoons
- Funny Thanksgiving cartoons
- Funny animals cartoons
- Funny dog cartoons
- Funny animated cartoons
- Funny women cartoons
- Funny wedding cartoons
- Funny drunk cartoons
- Funny nude cartoons
- Crazy frog cartoons
- Funny work cartoons
- Funny Christmas cartoons
- Funny Birthday cartoons
- Funny cat cartoons
- Funny sport cartoons
- Funny gay cartoons
- Funny men cartoons
- Funny police cartoons
- Funny love cartoons
- Funny kid cartoons
- Funny Flashes
- Funny Sounds
-
Funny Ringtones
- Funny Ringtones
- Funny ringtones
- Exciting ringtones
- Mystery ringtones
- Nature ringtones
- Romantic ringtones
- War ringtones
- Halloween ringtones
- New Year & Xmas ringtones
- Techno ringtones
- Valentine ringtones
- DJ ringtones
- Scary ringtones
- Crazy ringtones
- Movie ringtones
- Music ringtones
- Funny animal ringtones
- Alien ringtones
- Accessory ringtones
- Bell ringtones
- Mosquito ringtones
- Human sound ringtones
- Instrumental ringtones
- Arabic ringtones
- Kids ringtones
- Rock ringtones
- Ethnic ringtones
- Happy birthday ringtones
- Rap ringtones
- Breakdance ringtone
- Voice ringtones
- Opera ringtones
- Games ringtones
- Lounge ringtones
- Funny instrument ringtones
- Drunk ringtones
- Laugh ringtones
- Electronic melody ringtone
- Dirty ringtone
- Miscellaneous ringtones
- Thanksgiving ringtones
- Mouse ringtones
- Baby ringtones
-
Audio Clips
- Audio Clips
- Effects audio clip
- Funny audio clip
- Music audio clip
- Weird audio clip
- Erotic audio clip
- Christmas audio clip
- Halloween/scary audio clip
- Birthday audio clip
- Laugh audio clip
- Animal audio clip
- Nature audio clip
- Voice audio clip
- Scream audio clip
- Instrumental audio clip
- Non-vocal songs
- MIDI Store
- Funny Remixes
- Funny Song Parodies
-
Funny Pictures
- Funny Pictures
- Animal photos
- Baby pictures
- Car photos
- Celebrity photos
- Funny photos
- Holidays photos
- House pictures
- Kiss pictures
- New world wonder photos
- Pet gallery
- Playboy photos
- Sportsmen photo
- War photos
- Wedding photos
- Valentine pictures
- Halloween pictures
- American Idol photos
- Black and White pictures
- Christmas photos
- Tattoo pictures
- Winter photos
- Summer photos
- Autumn photos
- Spring photos
- Beach photos
- Sunset photos
- Aerial photos
- Prom pictures
- Flower pictures
- Country photos
- 7 world wonders photos
- Garden pictures
- Movie picture
- Thanksgiving pictures
- Miscellaneous pictures
-
Wallpapers
- Wallpapers
- Animated/Cartoon Wallpaper
- Funny Wallpaper
- Celebrity Wallpaper
- Sexy Wallpaper
- 3D and Digital art Wallpaper
- Valentine/Love Wallpaper
- Nature Wallpaper
- Game Wallpaper
- Movie Wallpaper
- Music Wallpaper
- Christmas Wallpaper
- Flower Wallpaper
- Beach Wallpaper
- Final fantasy Wallpaper
- Car Wallpaper
- Animal Wallpaper
- Landscape Wallpaper
- Art Wallpaper
- Photograph Wallpaper
- Space Wallpaper
- Sport Wallpaper
- Military Wallpaper
- Model Wallpaper
- Bikini Wallpaper
- Thanksgiving Wallpaper
-
Funny Jokes
- Funny Jokes
- Kid jokes
- Blonde jokes
- Adult jokes
- Political jokes
- Family jokes
- School jokes
- Clean jokes
- Funny quotes
- Lawyer quotes
- Bar Jokes
- Free jokes
- Animal jokes
- Business jokes
- Celebrities jokes
- Christmas jokes
- Computer jokes
- Condom jokes
- Crazy jokes
- Dirty jokes
- Drunk jokes
- Food jokes
- Gays & Lesbians jokes
- Gender jokes
- Holidays jokes
- Job jokes
- Lawyer jokes
- Marriage jokes
- Medical jokes
- Office jokes
- Redneck jokes
- Sex jokes
- Sports jokes
- Women jokes
- Work jokes
- Halloween jokes
- Thanksgiving jokes
-
Short Stories
- Short Stories
- Best short story
- Romance/Love short story
- Children short story
- Teen short story
- Christmas short story
- Biography short story
- Funny short story
- Scary/Horror short story
- Classic short story
- American short story
- British short story
- Australian short story
- Fiction short story
- Science fiction short story
- Adult short story
- Family short story
- Gay/Lesbian short story
- Inspirational short story
- Fairy tale short story
- Chicken soup for soul
-
Funny Quizzes
- Quizzes
- Personality quiz
- Romance/love quiz
- Teen quiz
- Movie quiz
- Music quiz
- Funny sex quiz
- Funny Q&A
- Kid quiz
- IQ test
- EQ test
- Animal quiz
- Celebrities quiz
- Entertainment quiz
- Geography quiz
- History quiz
- Literature quiz
- Math quiz
- Science quiz
- People quiz
- Religion quiz
- World quiz
- Funny game
- Humanities quiz
- Hobbies quiz
- Puzzle
- Brain teaser
- Tips
Holidays
Free media tool
Our pages
- AVZIO
- Funny Jokes
- School jokes
- A new professor's diary
A new professor's diary
Jan 3rd, 1995
I have long heard of the lives of the privileged classes, and now I have prepared myself to experience life as a member. Tomorrow, I will don the the uniform of the academic and re-enter society, NOT as I once was, a worker and pawn of the educated classes, but as a peer of those very people. Tomorrow, I shall become an academic!
Jan 4th, 1995
Dressed in a pair of green slacks with shortened legs, red cardigan and egg-yolk-stained tee-shirt; sporting a scraggly beard and armed only with a pipe, I stepped onto the University Campus. Immediately upon mumbling some incomprehensible gibberish, I was greeted on with respect and awe by my fellow academia. Applying for tenure was simple. The questions were very direct:
They: Do you know what you're doing?
Me: This is Belgium, right?
They: You have a masters in English?
Me: I have a Red Volvo!
They: And you're applying for a position in the department of Physics?
Me: I think sometimes, therefore I am illogical!
I was appointed immediately and released to an unsuspecting student population.
Jan 5th, 1995
Today was my first as a lecturer. I prepared concientiously by drinking heavily, watching lots of television and going to bed very late the preceding night turning up at my lecture the prescribed 1 minute late, I spoke of Yeats and the passion of his poetry. The first year Physics students were left speechless.
Jan 6th, 1995
I did not go to work today, due to my thinking it was Saturday.
Jan 7th, 1995
I did not go to work today, due to my thinking it was a Wednesday.
Jan 8th, 1995
I went to work today and was distressed at the lack of attendance.
Jan 9th, 1995
Being conscientious in the maintenance of my diary, I take a well deserved holiday knowing that in three more days I will be eligible for a six month sebattical.
Jan 12th, 1995
My lecture this morning was a landmark effort. I launched into the explanation of the right-hand-rule, then, remembering that I was an academic, subverted myself into discussing of the right-hand-rule of hitch-hiking, the dangers of hitchhiking, the dangers of hitching in South America, my Holiday in South America, the woman I met in South America, the place she worked at, their physics department, then to finish off, what their physics department said about the right-hand-rule. I think I was well received
Jan 13th, 1995
A minor peice of confusion here in that I brought my Telephone book instead of my lecture notes. I improvised the basic electrical safety section of the course with the aid of two paper clips, a student and a handy power point. I feel sure the class now appreciates the dangers of electricity. Attendance dropped by one.
Jan 14th, 1995
Being a Friday, I decide to excite my first year pupils with an experiment in wave theory. I walked into the lab, waved, and left. I'm sure my students appreciated the humourous content.
Jan 16th, 1995
Having now mastered when weekends occur, I turned up to receive confirmation of my sebattical, taking it, on full pay, immediately.
Jul 17th, 1995
Back from sebattical I realise that I did not make arrangements for a stand-in lecturer. In an attempt to catch up for the lost time, I set the students some homework, pages 1-375, read and do all exercises.
Jul 18th, 1995
Attendance was exceptionally low today with only one student in class. When I asked him how his homework was going as his entire coursework depended on it. He screamed and left. I marked him absent and informed the grants department that no-one was attending my courses.
Jul 21st, 1995
My students are all back having received the letter informing them that grants are only paid to attending students. Scholarship students, with a far harsher attendance policy, are openly weeping.
Jul 24th, 1995
I am now eligible for three months extra-curricular sebattical, which I decide to take immediately, warning my students that the exam will be held the day I return, covering all aspects of the course, including the last minute addition of the Encyclopedia Brittanica to the Book List. I expect all students to have a copy.
Oct 24th, 1995
Exam day.
Having no preparation time, I use last years exam and substitute different values for the equation. I randomly appoint a student from another class to work out the answers and mark the exams.
Oct 27th, 1995
I receive the results of the exam which indicate that 89% of the class passed the exam. Lauded as an academic genius, I am awarded 6 months further paid sebbatical to study the effects of alcohol on the mind. Starting the third day of term next year. I think I'm on a winner here.
I have long heard of the lives of the privileged classes, and now I have prepared myself to experience life as a member. Tomorrow, I will don the the uniform of the academic and re-enter society, NOT as I once was, a worker and pawn of the educated classes, but as a peer of those very people. Tomorrow, I shall become an academic!
Jan 4th, 1995
Dressed in a pair of green slacks with shortened legs, red cardigan and egg-yolk-stained tee-shirt; sporting a scraggly beard and armed only with a pipe, I stepped onto the University Campus. Immediately upon mumbling some incomprehensible gibberish, I was greeted on with respect and awe by my fellow academia. Applying for tenure was simple. The questions were very direct:
They: Do you know what you're doing?
Me: This is Belgium, right?
They: You have a masters in English?
Me: I have a Red Volvo!
They: And you're applying for a position in the department of Physics?
Me: I think sometimes, therefore I am illogical!
I was appointed immediately and released to an unsuspecting student population.
Jan 5th, 1995
Today was my first as a lecturer. I prepared concientiously by drinking heavily, watching lots of television and going to bed very late the preceding night turning up at my lecture the prescribed 1 minute late, I spoke of Yeats and the passion of his poetry. The first year Physics students were left speechless.
Jan 6th, 1995
I did not go to work today, due to my thinking it was Saturday.
Jan 7th, 1995
I did not go to work today, due to my thinking it was a Wednesday.
Jan 8th, 1995
I went to work today and was distressed at the lack of attendance.
Jan 9th, 1995
Being conscientious in the maintenance of my diary, I take a well deserved holiday knowing that in three more days I will be eligible for a six month sebattical.
Jan 12th, 1995
My lecture this morning was a landmark effort. I launched into the explanation of the right-hand-rule, then, remembering that I was an academic, subverted myself into discussing of the right-hand-rule of hitch-hiking, the dangers of hitchhiking, the dangers of hitching in South America, my Holiday in South America, the woman I met in South America, the place she worked at, their physics department, then to finish off, what their physics department said about the right-hand-rule. I think I was well received
Jan 13th, 1995
A minor peice of confusion here in that I brought my Telephone book instead of my lecture notes. I improvised the basic electrical safety section of the course with the aid of two paper clips, a student and a handy power point. I feel sure the class now appreciates the dangers of electricity. Attendance dropped by one.
Jan 14th, 1995
Being a Friday, I decide to excite my first year pupils with an experiment in wave theory. I walked into the lab, waved, and left. I'm sure my students appreciated the humourous content.
Jan 16th, 1995
Having now mastered when weekends occur, I turned up to receive confirmation of my sebattical, taking it, on full pay, immediately.
Jul 17th, 1995
Back from sebattical I realise that I did not make arrangements for a stand-in lecturer. In an attempt to catch up for the lost time, I set the students some homework, pages 1-375, read and do all exercises.
Jul 18th, 1995
Attendance was exceptionally low today with only one student in class. When I asked him how his homework was going as his entire coursework depended on it. He screamed and left. I marked him absent and informed the grants department that no-one was attending my courses.
Jul 21st, 1995
My students are all back having received the letter informing them that grants are only paid to attending students. Scholarship students, with a far harsher attendance policy, are openly weeping.
Jul 24th, 1995
I am now eligible for three months extra-curricular sebattical, which I decide to take immediately, warning my students that the exam will be held the day I return, covering all aspects of the course, including the last minute addition of the Encyclopedia Brittanica to the Book List. I expect all students to have a copy.
Oct 24th, 1995
Exam day.
Having no preparation time, I use last years exam and substitute different values for the equation. I randomly appoint a student from another class to work out the answers and mark the exams.
Oct 27th, 1995
I receive the results of the exam which indicate that 89% of the class passed the exam. Lauded as an academic genius, I am awarded 6 months further paid sebbatical to study the effects of alcohol on the mind. Starting the third day of term next year. I think I'm on a winner here.
story Information
Upload Date: 31/12/1969 |
Downloads: 1160 |
Other Stories
Other Stories1092 downloads
1050 downloads
1158 downloads
896 downloads
My son, Mitchell, a kindergartener..
1188 downloads
923 downloads