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WAYS TO GET THROWN OUT OF CHEMISTRY LAB

* Pretend an electron got stuck in your ear, and insist on describing the sound to others. * Give a cup of liquid nitrogen to a classmate and ask, "Does this taste funny to you?" * Consistently write three atoms of potassium as 'KKK.' * Mutter repeatedly, "Not again... not again... not again." * When it's very quiet, suddenly cry out, "My eyes!" * Deny the existence of chemicals. * Begin pronouncing everything your immigrant lab instructor says exactly the way he/she says it. * Casually walk to the front of the room and urinate in a beaker. Especially effective for female students. * Pop a paper bag at the crucial moment when the professor is about to pour the sulfuric acid. * Show up with a 55-gallon drum of fertilizer and express an interest in federal buildings.
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