There once was an old man of Esser

There once was an old man of Esser,
Whose knowledge grew lesser and lesser.
It at last grew so small
He knew nothing at all,
And now he's a college professor. It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the intercom: "Will the students who are parked on University Drive please move their cars so that we may begin plowing." Twenty minutes later there was another announcement: "Will the twelve hundred students who went to move 26 cars please return to class." A college professor in an anatomy class asked his students to sketch a naked man. As the professor walked around the class checking the sketches he noticed that a sexy young coed had sketched the man with an erect penis. The professor commented, "Oh, no, I wanted it the other way." She replied, "What other way?" The stunning blonde had gone to her student advisor for some course problems, but seemed to be paying only half attention to his replies. "Are you feeling OK?" he asked. "Well, to be honest, I have this compulsion to have sex with every man I meet," she admitted. "Is there a name for my condition?" "Why yes, there is," he said, as he picked her up and began carrying her to the couch. "It's called 'Good News'." Optimist: A college student who opens his wallet and expects to find money. I have three college degrees: B.S. - Bull Shit M.S. - More of the Same Ph.D. - Piled Higher and Deeper