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In love with julie

I did not know it at the time but I had no reason to be sad. I was 14. I felt like my cancer was coming back, my parents were divorced and my brother left. I could have delt with it then but I chose to live in the dark. I wish I could go back in time so I could savor the moments of having no worries. I didn't know that things could get much worse. It all started when I talked to an aquatise on the computer. (let's call her Ashley)

Over the phone Ashley told me that she lives in darkness too. She was dating a girl named Kimmy. Kimmy's parents beat her everytime she would just talk on the phone with Ashley. So they could only see each other if she bikes to kimmy's school, kimmy's only 14 and Ashley was 17. I felt awkward talking to her about this because I was only 14 and I've never dated anyone so I didn't know..my path. When we became good friends over the weeks I told her this. She asked me if I wanted to find out. I laughed and said no because I knew she was just kidding.

One day I invited her over again. I never really cared that she was a lesbian. I really liked being friends with her because she helped me deal with my problems. We skateboarded together and played guitar. We always talked about our hard times and our fun times. She brought me out of the darkness, which nobody ever tried to do for me.

That night, I don't know how this happened, but something lead to us cuddling on the couch whatching a ghost movie. I guesse she just made a move on me, I thought. I didn't really care, it made me feel so cared for.

And then she snapped my gel bracelet... So I let her kiss me. It all came so fast. I was just sitting on the floor as she held me. My stomache felt like it flipped upside down. I felt quizy so I went to the bathroom and made myself throwup. (I had some practice because I used to be bulemic). I went back and fell asleep in her arms, totally confused. She whatched me sleep saying I love you, Julie. but still keeping her boundries. Everything finally came clear to me, I must have been so stupid not to notice that she likes me.

The next day we were on the computer talking about that night. She asked me what I thought. I told her that I was totaly confused and she understood. A few hours later I was playing xbox in the basement. She called me crying saying she dumped kimmy. She didnt know why she was crying. She said she was happy that she left kimmy. I told her you never get over your first (first girl). We talked and she asked me if we could go out. I told her I would think about it because I was still confused. For almost a week she kept asking me what my answer was. I decided to give it a shot, I wanted to see what it was like. Plus I did kind of like her. I said yes.

Ashley was so glad, and I was too, until the reality hit me. I was 14. She was almost 18. I didn't even know my orientation. She smoked, drank, did drugs, and partied. She was a body builder and I had leukimia, which ment i was super week.

She thinks she sees demons. Like one day she was on my bed, and she said one was coming out of her. I got scared because she started shaking and she curled in a ball and all the sudden she just looked at me and jumped up. Her eyes were red and she grabbed me. but then she just sat down and started crying. I really don't know what to believe.

We started to hang out more and more. She said she loved me, but I think she still wanted Kimmy back. I told my friends I was going out with a girl and they felt awkward to be around me, but they still tried talking to me. I didn't care. love is love.

About a week later we found out Kimmy was cheating on her with another girl. Ashley's heart was broken. she burnt all the pictures and cussed her name at any chance she had. She punched kimmy in the face on main street too. I was glad she was over her, Now we've never been closer befor.

Soon my friends accepted me because they realized that I'm no different than I was befor and that love IS love ^^. This made me so happy, My life was so bright now and I felt like I had no more worries. It's still dark in places but it's better than it used to be.

One day She wanted to come over to my house but I wouldn't let her because I didn't want my mom wondering why she's the only person i hang out with ALL THE TIME. That's when things started going down hill. She thought I didn't want to hang out with her and that I was lying about how my mom is getting suspicouse. I didn't want my mom to know yet. I don't know how she will react. I don't want what happened to kimmy to happen to me. We haven't hungout in weeks. I miss her so much and I'm leaving to go to virginia for a week. We're being seperated even more and more. When I'm with her I feel like there is a reason to live, and she does too.

Now that everyone in my school knows about this I am made fun of constantly. My life is fadeing slowly. I don't want anything to do with love anymore. Sometimes I wonder if it was worth it. We're still going out, but we never get to see each other anymore because now my mom doesn't want me hanging out with her. I would give anything, just to have a moment with her.
I\'M OFF LAUGHING ... LOL
[HOT VIDEO] I\'M OFF LAUGHING ... LOL

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Upload Date: 31/12/1969

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